In the Neighborhood

I wonder how long I'll keep this foreman job before they toss me out for jamming a pencil through someone's eye. I'm glad to have steady income for a change and head things up at Regina's mining facility, but frak! I've only held this job for a few months now, but it feels like it's been an eternity. I used to be a gorram space fighter, a gunslinger, a cowboy, a gorram man of action! I needed this vacation somethin' fierce. How anybody could stand this routine grind for a living is beyond me.

But still, after Bianca left to frak knows where, I can't imagine where I would've ended up if I hadn't gone back to Regina, back to the mines. Screw it, not the first time a lady has walked out on me. I reckon I'm just not meant for the life of an average joe. A home, a steady job, a wife, and a pile of kids. Or maybe I just never really wanted any of those things to begin with.

Relieved as I was to get this time off work, just as I hopped into my ship to hit the sky, I realized I had no idea where I should go. At first, I ended up hitting a few bars on Ariel. Figured I'd meet my old contact and ask him for the news, slip him a few plats and maybe make believe I was a bounty hunter again. Apparently the poor bastard was gunned down weeks ago. Hell of a way to start a vacation. Unwilling to let my time off go to waste, I tried sending a wave to Shalimar to see what she was up to nowadays, but couldn't get a hold of her. She's probably still running cargo, everyone's got work for a carrier. So outta nowhere, somethin' possessed me to touch down on Hale's. If only to find out whether or not Seana and hers still held a grudge.

The place has changed pretty drastically. A few colonies have popped up here and there and I saw a lot of unfamiliar faces. At least Fook's was still in tact and relatively unchanged. It was good seeing most of the old Blackburne crew, though not so good when I heard the old town was burned to the ground. Word sure as hell hadn't reached Regina yet. They rebuilt Firefly's just a stone's throw away- which I got no qualms with at all.

I had planned on what I would say when I saw Lily again.. 'cause I knew she'd be there. I wasn't ready for what happened though.. She barely recognized me. Only thing she knew about me was my name. The same Lily who invited me to her house the day I met her for a bath, who I ran off with after Firefly's anniversary party. The same Lily I was in love with for those great months when I first arrived on Hale's Moon. I wasn't by any means expecting a tearful reunion or somethin', but I at least thought we were on good terms, not that we had become total strangers.

She ended up showin' me around the Moon's new settlements and whatnot, and told me a little about that whackjob Mindo and little AuroraBlue. She seemed to remember a few scattered things about our past, like Otto and Aylen and Awenasa. She even remembered Sylph, of all things.. I hadn't even thought of Sylph in months.. Whenever she remembered something, her eyes sorta flashed violet for just a moment, and it was like she had all her memories again. But only for a moment, then she'd go back to her usual self. She told me something like "can't stop the signal, Ben". I don't know what any of this means, or why she's missing bits and pieces of her memory- particularly when I was involved, but I know her memories are in there somewhere, and I feel like I have to help her. The question is where do I start?

Regina and the Wastes

The feds came callin' a little sooner than I had thought. We wasn't four hours outta Paradiso when they hailed us. Askin' about a stolen Firefly loaded with medical supplies.. I got on the horn with some up tight Lieutenant and gave him the usual run around. Said I didn't know what he was talkin' about, that we was just a freelance cargo haulin' crew. He didn't seem to buy it so I gave Lily the OK to rabbit. They gave chase, but with Lily at the helm, there was no catching us. After we were sure we lost 'em, we continued to Regina.

Soon as we broke atmo, I felt my stomach start to tighten.. I hadn't been home for a good five or six years. I was surprisingly nervous, but at the same time, thrilled. I couldn't wait to see Otto and the old gang. I had Lily bring us down a good lotta miles from the town, where I knew we wouldn't be asked for permits or registration for our stolen boat. I grabbed the Pescaline D I 'borrowed' from the boat and we hopped on my motorcycle and zipped off in a storm a' dust.

Terrain-wise, Regina is pretty flat and unexciting. Nothin' but rolling desert from horizon to horizon and the biggest, bluest sky you could picture. Blasting through the desert, the wind beatin' on my face, and Lily holding on behind me, laughin' and grinnin'.. Somehow, despite my lousy memories of this place, I really felt like I was home again. A small crowd had already gathered in the town when we got there, all with hardhats and pickaxes over their shoulders, covered in dirt from the mines. They knew someone was comin' this whole time seein' the trails of dust on the horizon. Lily was quite the spectacle, she had gussied herself up like a princess to look good for Otto.. The fishnet hose she had on was what they was really lookin' at, I imagine. I know I was. My buddies weren't among the crowd, and nobody seemed to recognize me, but that didn't surprise me none. Most of my ol' gang spent their time in the mines and rarely ever came out.

Otto's broken down old shack was the same as it was twenty years ago, cramped and shoddy. He came runnin' out the door to meet us, laughin' and throwin' his arms up in excitement. Age was taking it's toll, I could tell. The couple hairs he had left were tinted white, and his face was covered in wrinkles. All the same, I was overjoyed to see him. The old codger hobbled over to me and threw his arms around me in a big hug, laughin' and fumblin' over his words. I could see Lily's eyes sparklin' while me and Otto bear hugged each other. I introduced her to Otto and they really hit it off. He took her arm in his and started ramblin' about how pretty she was and about me when I was growin' up here. Lily looked just as excited to hear it as Otto was to tell it. I just laughed and followed them into the shack.

Otto fixed us up some delicious tea he made with some quality leaves he was savin' for such a special occasion. For some reason, it felt wonderful seeing Lily and Otto together. Felt like all my family was together at last.. Otto really took to Lily, and her to him. He was so flattered that he nearly cried when Lily gave him the half-eaten chocolate she saved, or at least tried to save for him. I mostly just sat and watched them together, Lily sittin' right on Otto's lap, him tellin' her it's just like the way I used to when I was a kid.. I decided to head out and wander my old stompin' grounds and say hi to a few of the guys, leavin' Otto and Lily to their crazy stories.

I had stepped out into the cold night and headed to the only building that still had lights on, the local tavern. I knew I'd find my old pals there. Walkin' through the door, all the patrons turned their heads. Most still didn't recognize me, but when I spotted my old gang and smirked, they went berserk! They hauled me over to the bar, pattin' my back, punchin' my shoulder, orderin' me a dozen drinks, laughin', screamin' at me for being out of touch for so long. I ain't laughed and grinned like that for a long time.. I didn't realize how much I missed those old bastards.. They was all curious how my bounty hunting career was goin', so I fed 'em all my best stories. Told them about Hale's, Cap and the crew, Blackburne.. even Sylph.. Anyway, they was all jokin' about how I probably couldn't even mine proper no more, so I had to prove 'em wrong on that. So, we staggered out to the mines and they threw me a pick. Turns out mining is like ridin' a bike, ya never forget how it's done. The fellas and I caught up and swapped stories well into the mornin'.

I wish I coulda spent more time there... but right when I walked outta the bar to head to Otto's, I saw Lily runnin' my way. She was lookin' mighty nervous.. sayin' it was "almost time", and that we had to go to the Wastes right away. Bad as I wanted stay, I couldn't convince her.. I knew I couldn't let her go alone, so I just gave up and ran back to Otto's to say goodbye. He was upset to see me go so soon, but he just laughed and said he knew I had a "responsibility to my wife". I had to ask him to tell the guys for me, since Lily wasn't willing to spend another second not headin' toward the wastes. We was off world in our hijacked Firefly and en route to the Wastes in the blink of an eye. I had to catch up on sleep, so I left the flyin' to Lily, which she was fine with.. I got to my bunk and reached into my pack for smokes, and what do I find but the Pescaline I gave to Otto. That selfless, no good geezer snuck it right back into my pack.. You'll pay for that one, pops.

We miraculously didn't run into a single obstacle on our trip to the Wastes, so we was there pretty quick. Lily took me to the underground Blue Sun.. headquarters I guess? Things got a little too bizarre to describe from then on. It looked like some kinda abandoned factory, shattered glass and strange lights all over the place. Lily had me put my hand over some console thing.. which I guess took a sample of my DNA while she touched another console for hers. Then, she took me further underground and she tinkered with some weird devices.. next thing I knew, half her brain was hangin' out. If that wasn't crazy enough, she took me even further into the Blue Sun system and we saw a gigantic, gorram brain. A gigantic, gorram, talking brain. Lily was trying to take some weird consoles or boxes or somethin', despite the giant brain advising against it. I was glad when we left that place, but Lily's brain was still hangin' out.. She said it was supposed to happen, so I just pretended not to see it.

We wandered the Wastes for a spell before we found the Blue Man himself. Or itself, whatever. The whole time, I had a feelin' Lily wasn't plannin' on coming back to Hale's with me.. but she was careful to avoid my questions. She told me it was time for the mating to begin, so I just nodded my head. She left what exactly the 'mating' meant, so at the time I just went with it. Krenshar showed up outta nowhere and filled me in on what it really meant; death. But Lily was hell bent on 'mating' with the Blue Man, so it came down to me physically having to jerk her hand away from the lever that would have sealed the deal. The Blue Man said to me, "You're strong. Not who I would have chosen, but you'll do" or somethin'.. still not sure what that meant and not sure I care. I just wanted to get Lily outta there. The Blue Man kept trying to persuade Lily to mate, but Krenshar and I managed to hold her back until she fainted and the Blue Man vanished.

I hauled Lily out of the Blue Man's place, back out to the wastes. She was suddenly 99% organic apparently.. as much a human as me. I still don't know what happened, but.. I'm glad I was here with her. She was in bad shape though, so I sent a wave to Duncan for an evac. The Cap came through for me, much to my surprise. Wasn't sure what he thought about Lily and me runnin' off the way we did. I was glad to hear from him again, to say the least. Cap showed up with Belize, who was about ready to stick me with one of her syringes before fixin' up Lily. Nevertheless, we boarded Raivenn and sailed back to Hale's. Seana was there waitin' for us, and her and Belize fixed Lily up best as I imagine possible. Her brain was still hangin' out, after all.

All in all, I don't got any regrets about my little adventure with Lily. The folk on Hale's disagree, but that's somethin' I was prepared for when we took off the night of the Anniversary Ball at Firefly's. What mattered most to me was Lily becoming human..

Smooth Criminals

Can't say this was my first robbery, but it was my first with Lily beside me. That fact alone put the whole job in a different category. I've come to learn that with Lily, nothin' can be approached the usual way. Maybe that's why it was so damned easy. We was like one a' those crime couples in those old films back on Earth-that-was. One arm around the other and the other hand holdin' a pistol or a sack a' cash, grinnin' like we was madmen.

Lily wrangled us up some wild horses outside a' Paradiso. She's gotta way with animals, I gotta say. They went from wild and cautious to calm and cooperative in a matter a' minutes. We rode bareback into the town, knowin' full well what we was gonna do when we got to the bank. Lucky for us, the town was practically deserted. Not a soul out traversin' the streets and every window was either boarded up or broken. If I met eyes with one a' the locals, they'd avert their gaze and scurry into the closest house or the nearest alleyway. Gotta admit, that was good for the ego. Wonder what's got all these folks so spooked and skeptical?

Anyway, we dismounted outside the bank - if it could be called a bank. More like a damned grocery store with an overly huge safe right in plain sight. Not that I was expectin' a fully sealed and secured Fed protected vault. To our luck, the clerk was an old fellah. It was a good thing, I didn't wanna have to pop anybody for playin' hero and tryin' to save the day from us mean ol' robbers. There was also some local browsin' the aisles. Lily an' me walked in all casual like at first, then she drew her pistols and covered the customer while I went to the clerk's desk and flipped out my old Six-shot Flintlock, put it right to the old man's face. Old man tried to play it off like he wasn't scared a' nothin', like he could come face to face with a Reaver and blow smoke in his eyes. That was fine with us, we wasn't aimin' to give anyone a fright, we just wanted the contents of the vault.

Had the geezer unlock the safe and go stand with the other guy that Lily was coverin'. I went to work loadin' up the sacks we brought fulla credits, plats, everythin' that was in the vault. Well the bitter old geezer happened to recognize me an' Lily, he was apparently at Lily's mock trial back on Hale's. Of all the damned geezers in the 'verse, we got one who could pick both Lily and I out of a crowd easily. Whatever though, he started goin' off about how he knew our names and how much trouble we was gonna be in when the Feds arrived. I almost wanted to laugh. Poor guy really thought Alliance would send their officers to deal with a convenience store robbery in a piece a' go-se town like Paradiso? For a second I got a little worried, 'cause I remember way back when I got a contract to hunt down a robber for a handsome bounty. But that client was stinkin' rich, this guy was just some nobody working his day job. What the hell is he gonna pay a Bounty Hunter with?

I tossed Lily one of the sacks 'a cash and we left, hopped on our horses and took off in a storm a' dust. Nobody tried to stop us, nobody cared to. I almost felt guilty robbin' from poor folk like this, but.. like I always say.. these aren't easy times. Way I see it, everybody has two choices, you could keep tryin' to live honest lives and trust the Feds to take care of ya, or wake up and do somethin' for yourself for a change. That's just how life is in the 'verse, ain't pleasant, but it's true.

Once we was well outta Paradiso in the outskirts, me an' Lily found ourselves a gorram Firefly! Engine warmed and ready to take off, but empty. You'd have to be a damn fool to pass such an inviting opportunity up. I dunno where the ship's crew was, and I don't rightly care. If they're dumb enough to leave their engine runnin' without leavin' someone behind to hold it down, they don't deserve to fly. I asked Lily if she could fly the thing.. of course she could, why did I even ask? This is Lily we're talkin' about. Give her a cardboard box and a can of beans and she'll figure a way to break atmo with it. We checked out the med chamber and we scored solid. Drugs, syringes, gauze, bandages, and best of all, Pescaline D. Sweet, sweet, Pescaline. I didn't realize I was feelin' a little weak from withdrawal 'til I saw it in the medicine cabinet. I kept a little for myself, but the rest was goin' to Otto. He probably needs it more'n me.

So now, I got a fully operational ship, a straight trip to Otto, a ton of cash, plenty of drugs to fence, and best of all, Lily. Maybe I can convince her to ditch her plans with the Dust Devils and just sail with me. We'd pick up our own crew, do our own jobs, make our own money.. We'd live every rough and tumble nobody's dream; sailin' the stars with a small crew free of oppression. Although.. I'm fiercely feelin' homesick for Hale's.. it's the closest place I had to a home since growin' up with Otto. I'm missin' Shalimar and her damn fine coffee, Cat with her new outfit for each day, Pod with his whacked out jobs that never go right, my little lady killer apprentice, Jin.. Hell, I even miss the Cap and his tales of glory and valor.

I wonder.. when this is all done, will I still have a place to go home to?

Back Where I Belong

If the locals weren't pissed enough before, they certainly will be when they get the wave Lily sent before we ran off. I decided I'm takin' her to see Old Otto, see what he makes of her. Otto's an old fogey, but he's got wisdom 'bout stuff I never even heard of. Maybe he can even do somethin' to help Lily.

The real trouble is gettin' there without a ship since my fighter only fits one. So we decided to do things proper and old fashioned: stow away on a cargo barge. Those things are so gorram huge, you don't even gotta hide when you're on board. Hell we coulda started a fire and roasted marshmallows and still nobody woulda known we was there. The barge was headin' to Ariel, not the ideal location, but still closer to where we needed to get.

We realized a little late that we didn't have any money to get around, so I took Lily to meet my contact at the local bar. A'course.. the first thing outta Lily's mouth when I introduced her to him was "You fat mister". He was so pissed I thought he might pull a gun! Though likely that woulda ended a lot worse for him than us. Anyway, after I buttered the guy up after Lily pressed what apparently was his hot button, he finally gave me some intel on a job.

It was a trip taking Lily out for a bounty. If she wasn't so dead set on goin' to the Wastes, I'd ask her to permanently team up with me. The job was pretty in and out, but she still did a damn fine job. Hell for a moment it was like workin' with... well... it was like old times. The target was, to my surprise, a Browncoat. Turned sour, but still.. Guess after spending time with the Cap and Pod, my vision of your typical Browncoat was that of a righteous do-gooder, protectin' the weak, overly generous, all that. Well this guy was a true blue prick. He'd been swindling cargo captains all 'round the world. Apparently he ran off with the wrong guy's cargo this time, and he wanted it back. Accordin' to the contract, there'd be a shiny bonus if'n we reclaimed the stolen cargo along with the guy's head.

What would normally be a tricky job turned out to be a breeze. The target wasn't surprised that bounty hunters were after 'em, so we ended up givin' chase out of the building we found him in. He led us on a merry jog all 'round the alleyways, the little fella. He weren't a big thuggish type, but rather a tiny little guy faster'n a damned rabbit. He was too quick fer me and I started fallin' behind, but then here comes Lily zippin' right past me, laughin' like she was havin' the time of her life. Lily caught the guy and took him down easy. By the time I caught up, she had him out cold on the pavement, holdin' his suitcase, which held the client's cargo apparently, in her paw. She wanted to take a peak inside, but I told her it was better not to know. That's usually the case with these kinda situations. By the weight of it, I reckon it was some black market drugs or some such. Whatever, our work was done.

With the bonus for recovering our client's cargo, we had enough to bustle out of Ariel and sail one step closer to Otto. Lily seems pretty thrilled now that she's an official bounty hunter... I'm thrilled too.

I've had it

Since I first stepped foot on this gorram moon, every last prick here labeled me as a low and dirty scumbag looking to sleaze my way around. Everyone but Lily. She invited a total stranger like me to her home and never gave me so much as a cold stare or a skeptical glance. It tears me in half that I failed her the way I did. Maybe I got ahead of myself, maybe I saw too much of Sylph in her, I don't know. Another strike carved through my heart and whatever ridiculous fantasies I had for a happily ever after.

I reckon a lot more people will want me dead once word spreads that I hurt Hale's community child. Let them try, I say. I'm done wearing a mask and trying to earn their respect. I'm done laying my life on the line only to get scowls and glares in return. I'm through taking the bullshit they throw my way. If they don't like it, they can either do something about it or back the hell off. I'm not gonna go on a crazy killing spree like General did, but I'm not gonna meekly bow out of a conflict either.

'Side from that, nothing's gonna change. I'm gonna stay with the Cap's crew and take on jobs as they come like I did before, show up at Firefly's and drink and dance and do whatever the hell else I want. I'll march on ahead with my head held high, like I always do. And if anybody gets in my way, I'll pump them full of lead. Simple as that.

"Not again"

Sylph...

I still don't understand why you did the things you did.. Why all the love I held for you was reduced to.. well.. whatever it is we have now. I can't undo what I've done to you.. but I hope through some miracle that what I write here somehow reaches your ears. I'm so sorry for everything.. for betraying you, for putting you through what I did..

I'm sorry... for Ellie.

Since this no-name bounty hunter showed up on Hale's, I've thought about you.. I've even told a few of the folks here about what happened, but I could never tell them the rest of the story.. I'd rather them think me another coin hungry mercenary, not a downright traitor. I reckon it makes me a coward that I can't bring myself to tell them the truth about you, Ellie, and I..

I hope to see you again some day, preferably without a pistol to my heart. I just want to explain things without you storming out of my life.. Would vengeance really save you? Save us? I always wondered why you never finished me.. I've given you more opportunities than I'm proud to admit, yet you never pull that trigger. You, the hotheaded, 'guns-a-blazin' loudmouth. Now, after the end.. I guess you were better after all, eh?

I wonder, Sylph...

Do you still wear my ring too?

Back in Action

Feels good to be working again. I signed on as a tracker and hired gun with the crew of the Raivenn, an old Firefly captained by a Browncoat Vet named Duncan. The work's mostly salvage or cargo hauling, but we get to lay out a few purple bellies here and there, so I can't complain. The coin ain't bad either.

I got a wave from Shalimar last night, sayin' Pod had a job for us. So me and her met up with him at the station and he filled us in. I ain't gonna include the details here, just that the job was a success, but turned sour pretty quick. Ended up in a pretty fierce firefight in an abandoned fallout shelter on Shadow. It was just me and Pod there when five fully armed feds started lookin' for us. I figured we were humped. Luckily, I managed to get a wave to Lily and request backup. Her, Duncan, and Shal all came to save the day. It was still damn ugly though, longest firefight I been in for quite some time. I managed to go out without a scratch and still took down three of the feds.

We were plannin' to fence the goods we got and I was lookin' forward to a vacation to Ariel or some other core planet where I could spoil myself. But, of course, Pod and Duncan ended up destroyin' it! "Too dangerous if it landed in the wrong hands" they said. Now I didn't sign on with this crew to spread rainbows and sunshine through the 'verse, I did it for the coin. If things keep goin' this way, I think I'd rather be unemployed again. Damn vets with their ideals and belief in the greater good.. Ah well.. once a Browncoat, always a Browncoat.