Regina and the Wastes

The feds came callin' a little sooner than I had thought. We wasn't four hours outta Paradiso when they hailed us. Askin' about a stolen Firefly loaded with medical supplies.. I got on the horn with some up tight Lieutenant and gave him the usual run around. Said I didn't know what he was talkin' about, that we was just a freelance cargo haulin' crew. He didn't seem to buy it so I gave Lily the OK to rabbit. They gave chase, but with Lily at the helm, there was no catching us. After we were sure we lost 'em, we continued to Regina.

Soon as we broke atmo, I felt my stomach start to tighten.. I hadn't been home for a good five or six years. I was surprisingly nervous, but at the same time, thrilled. I couldn't wait to see Otto and the old gang. I had Lily bring us down a good lotta miles from the town, where I knew we wouldn't be asked for permits or registration for our stolen boat. I grabbed the Pescaline D I 'borrowed' from the boat and we hopped on my motorcycle and zipped off in a storm a' dust.

Terrain-wise, Regina is pretty flat and unexciting. Nothin' but rolling desert from horizon to horizon and the biggest, bluest sky you could picture. Blasting through the desert, the wind beatin' on my face, and Lily holding on behind me, laughin' and grinnin'.. Somehow, despite my lousy memories of this place, I really felt like I was home again. A small crowd had already gathered in the town when we got there, all with hardhats and pickaxes over their shoulders, covered in dirt from the mines. They knew someone was comin' this whole time seein' the trails of dust on the horizon. Lily was quite the spectacle, she had gussied herself up like a princess to look good for Otto.. The fishnet hose she had on was what they was really lookin' at, I imagine. I know I was. My buddies weren't among the crowd, and nobody seemed to recognize me, but that didn't surprise me none. Most of my ol' gang spent their time in the mines and rarely ever came out.

Otto's broken down old shack was the same as it was twenty years ago, cramped and shoddy. He came runnin' out the door to meet us, laughin' and throwin' his arms up in excitement. Age was taking it's toll, I could tell. The couple hairs he had left were tinted white, and his face was covered in wrinkles. All the same, I was overjoyed to see him. The old codger hobbled over to me and threw his arms around me in a big hug, laughin' and fumblin' over his words. I could see Lily's eyes sparklin' while me and Otto bear hugged each other. I introduced her to Otto and they really hit it off. He took her arm in his and started ramblin' about how pretty she was and about me when I was growin' up here. Lily looked just as excited to hear it as Otto was to tell it. I just laughed and followed them into the shack.

Otto fixed us up some delicious tea he made with some quality leaves he was savin' for such a special occasion. For some reason, it felt wonderful seeing Lily and Otto together. Felt like all my family was together at last.. Otto really took to Lily, and her to him. He was so flattered that he nearly cried when Lily gave him the half-eaten chocolate she saved, or at least tried to save for him. I mostly just sat and watched them together, Lily sittin' right on Otto's lap, him tellin' her it's just like the way I used to when I was a kid.. I decided to head out and wander my old stompin' grounds and say hi to a few of the guys, leavin' Otto and Lily to their crazy stories.

I had stepped out into the cold night and headed to the only building that still had lights on, the local tavern. I knew I'd find my old pals there. Walkin' through the door, all the patrons turned their heads. Most still didn't recognize me, but when I spotted my old gang and smirked, they went berserk! They hauled me over to the bar, pattin' my back, punchin' my shoulder, orderin' me a dozen drinks, laughin', screamin' at me for being out of touch for so long. I ain't laughed and grinned like that for a long time.. I didn't realize how much I missed those old bastards.. They was all curious how my bounty hunting career was goin', so I fed 'em all my best stories. Told them about Hale's, Cap and the crew, Blackburne.. even Sylph.. Anyway, they was all jokin' about how I probably couldn't even mine proper no more, so I had to prove 'em wrong on that. So, we staggered out to the mines and they threw me a pick. Turns out mining is like ridin' a bike, ya never forget how it's done. The fellas and I caught up and swapped stories well into the mornin'.

I wish I coulda spent more time there... but right when I walked outta the bar to head to Otto's, I saw Lily runnin' my way. She was lookin' mighty nervous.. sayin' it was "almost time", and that we had to go to the Wastes right away. Bad as I wanted stay, I couldn't convince her.. I knew I couldn't let her go alone, so I just gave up and ran back to Otto's to say goodbye. He was upset to see me go so soon, but he just laughed and said he knew I had a "responsibility to my wife". I had to ask him to tell the guys for me, since Lily wasn't willing to spend another second not headin' toward the wastes. We was off world in our hijacked Firefly and en route to the Wastes in the blink of an eye. I had to catch up on sleep, so I left the flyin' to Lily, which she was fine with.. I got to my bunk and reached into my pack for smokes, and what do I find but the Pescaline I gave to Otto. That selfless, no good geezer snuck it right back into my pack.. You'll pay for that one, pops.

We miraculously didn't run into a single obstacle on our trip to the Wastes, so we was there pretty quick. Lily took me to the underground Blue Sun.. headquarters I guess? Things got a little too bizarre to describe from then on. It looked like some kinda abandoned factory, shattered glass and strange lights all over the place. Lily had me put my hand over some console thing.. which I guess took a sample of my DNA while she touched another console for hers. Then, she took me further underground and she tinkered with some weird devices.. next thing I knew, half her brain was hangin' out. If that wasn't crazy enough, she took me even further into the Blue Sun system and we saw a gigantic, gorram brain. A gigantic, gorram, talking brain. Lily was trying to take some weird consoles or boxes or somethin', despite the giant brain advising against it. I was glad when we left that place, but Lily's brain was still hangin' out.. She said it was supposed to happen, so I just pretended not to see it.

We wandered the Wastes for a spell before we found the Blue Man himself. Or itself, whatever. The whole time, I had a feelin' Lily wasn't plannin' on coming back to Hale's with me.. but she was careful to avoid my questions. She told me it was time for the mating to begin, so I just nodded my head. She left what exactly the 'mating' meant, so at the time I just went with it. Krenshar showed up outta nowhere and filled me in on what it really meant; death. But Lily was hell bent on 'mating' with the Blue Man, so it came down to me physically having to jerk her hand away from the lever that would have sealed the deal. The Blue Man said to me, "You're strong. Not who I would have chosen, but you'll do" or somethin'.. still not sure what that meant and not sure I care. I just wanted to get Lily outta there. The Blue Man kept trying to persuade Lily to mate, but Krenshar and I managed to hold her back until she fainted and the Blue Man vanished.

I hauled Lily out of the Blue Man's place, back out to the wastes. She was suddenly 99% organic apparently.. as much a human as me. I still don't know what happened, but.. I'm glad I was here with her. She was in bad shape though, so I sent a wave to Duncan for an evac. The Cap came through for me, much to my surprise. Wasn't sure what he thought about Lily and me runnin' off the way we did. I was glad to hear from him again, to say the least. Cap showed up with Belize, who was about ready to stick me with one of her syringes before fixin' up Lily. Nevertheless, we boarded Raivenn and sailed back to Hale's. Seana was there waitin' for us, and her and Belize fixed Lily up best as I imagine possible. Her brain was still hangin' out, after all.

All in all, I don't got any regrets about my little adventure with Lily. The folk on Hale's disagree, but that's somethin' I was prepared for when we took off the night of the Anniversary Ball at Firefly's. What mattered most to me was Lily becoming human..